{"id":2813,"date":"2021-04-20T13:59:00","date_gmt":"2021-04-20T13:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/?p=2813"},"modified":"2021-05-21T20:30:32","modified_gmt":"2021-05-21T20:30:32","slug":"how-to-co-parent-with-an-ex-you-dont-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/how-to-co-parent-with-an-ex-you-dont-like\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.therapybloglibrary.com\/how-to-co-parent-with-an-ex-you-dont-like\/\">How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Posted by&nbsp; <\/em><a><em>Soribel Martinez<\/em><\/a><em>, LCSW<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting-.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting--300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting--16x12.jpg 16w\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting-.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2814 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting-.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2814\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting-.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting--300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Co-Parenting--16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you feel trapped trying to co-parent with an ex you really don\u2019t like? Raising kids is hard enough, but trying to do so with another adult you\u2019d rather not be in contact with at all takes things to a different level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For better or worse, this is a fairly common situation. While some former marriage and romantic partners have a smooth, amicable co-parenting relationship, many don\u2019t. There are steps you can take to navigate this uncomfortable place, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Let Kids Be Kids<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Letting go of the emotional pain that a former spouse or partner created in your life can be really difficult. You may be hanging onto resentments from a divorce settlement or infidelity. Perhaps you\u2019re even still dealing with delays in receiving support payments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignright size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids-300x217.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids-16x12.jpg 16w\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2815 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"361\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2815\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids-300x217.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Kids-being-kids-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While you don\u2019t have to ignore these feelings or pretend that they don\u2019t matter, you need to set them aside for your children. Your children need to be free to maintain and enjoy a relationship with both parents. They don\u2019t need to be saddled with emotional baggage created by your own resentments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Be Respectful<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It may take everything you have to avoid making snide remarks about your ex in front of your kids. After all, you probably know your ex\u2019s flaws better than most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Letting your kids know how you really feel won\u2019t help them or your co-parenting relationship, however. Your kids love both of you. Their relationship with your ex is entirely different from the romantic partnership you had with your ex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can still vent to friends, family, and a therapist, of course! Getting support for yourself is important. Just don\u2019t use your kids as your tell-all besties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Create a Parenting Plan<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan-16x12.jpg 16w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2816 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2816\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Parenting-Plan-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Creating a parenting plan is often part of divorce proceedings. If you\u2019re able to, be thorough and thoughtful about what you want to include in this plan. Research all topics you might want to address in this plan. It can help set the stage for some level of expectations and standards for how your kids will be raised. You might even consider including that each of you take a mandatory co-parenting class every year, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Treat it Like a Business Relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Many co-parenting experts recommend viewing your ex and your relationship with them as a business relationship. Look at it as a professional obligation that requires professional behavior. This can help remove some emotions from the equation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Be Your Best Parent<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No matter who your ex is or what they are like, your relationship with your kids is your own to nurture. As much as you are able, invest in your children\u2019s lives. Be intentional about time with them. Be involved in their activities and interests. Let them know that you have their back. Few things are as important in life as this. And giving your children this emotional stability and care will help them adjust better to life without both parents in the same household.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Maintain Records<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While civility and respect are important in co-parenting, it\u2019s also important to keep track of things that concern you in terms of your ex\u2019s relationship with your kids. If your ex is consistently late with support, doesn\u2019t respond to your requests for their involvement or major decisions regarding the kids, or flakes out on visitation often, keep documentation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Counseling<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignright size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents-16x12.jpg 16w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2817 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2817\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Counseling-for-Parents-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Some former couples benefit from co-parent counseling. Having a neutral third party work with both of you to iron out co-parenting difficulties can be invaluable. If your efforts to co-parent continue to stall, this is a good option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Likewise, you may want to consider individual therapy to help you overcome a messy breakup or deal with any fallout that\u2019s affecting your children. I offer both options in my practice. Please contact my office to learn more about how I can help you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like Posted by&nbsp; Soribel Martinez, LCSW Do you feel trapped trying to co-parent with an ex you really don\u2019t like? Raising kids is hard enough, but trying to do so with another [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,32,29,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-therapy","category-couples-therapy","category-family-therapy","category-teen-therapy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like - SMPsychotherapy and Counseling Services - Danbury &amp; Hartford, CT &amp; New York, NY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/how-to-co-parent-with-an-ex-you-dont-like\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like - SMPsychotherapy and Counseling Services - Danbury &amp; Hartford, CT &amp; New York, NY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How to Co-Parent with an Ex You Don\u2019t Like Posted by&nbsp; Soribel Martinez, LCSW Do you feel trapped trying to co-parent with an ex you really don\u2019t like? 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