{"id":3186,"date":"2021-08-24T15:12:40","date_gmt":"2021-08-24T15:12:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/?p=3186"},"modified":"2021-08-24T15:12:40","modified_gmt":"2021-08-24T15:12:40","slug":"how-to-cope-with-mismatched-libidos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/how-to-cope-with-mismatched-libidos\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Posted by&nbsp; Soribel Mart\u00ednez, LCSW<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive-16x12.jpg 16w\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3187 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3187\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sexual-Drive-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sex is a normal part of any healthy relationship. But that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s always easy to talk about. If you\u2019re having some struggles in your sex life, your first instinct might be to \u201cignore\u201d them. If you and your partner have mismatched libidos, those issues aren\u2019t going to go away on their own.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Take a deep breath. Having mismatched libidos doesn\u2019t mean you both can\u2019t enjoy your sex life and the intimacy surrounding it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first thing to make sure of is that there aren\u2019t any underlying relationship issues to discuss. Many times, sex can be affected by problems in other areas. That\u2019s why sex is so much more than just something physical. In order for it to mean something, it requires intimacy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But, if your relationship is strong in other areas and you feel like your sex drives just aren\u2019t \u201cmeshing\u201d, there are things you can do to cope.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Learn More About Your Partner\u2019s Drive<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you\u2019re dealing with different sex drives, one of the first things you should do is to determine just how different they are. The easiest way to do this is to give yourself a number and ask your partner to do the same. The higher your number, the higher your libido.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignright size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive.jpg 334w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive-8x12.jpg 8w\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3188 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"334\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3188\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive.jpg 334w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Your-Partner\u00b4s-Drive-8x12.jpg 8w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However, if you say you\u2019re a two and your partner is an eight, you might immediately think you\u2019ll never have a fulfilling physical life. That isn\u2019t true.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bringing those numbers to the light can help you both to empathize with each other and learn more about your needs and wants. You\u2019ll get a better idea of how your partner thinks about sex, what they want, and how they might feel when you say \u201cno\u201d (or vice versa). It\u2019s the ultimate exercise in putting yourself in someone else\u2019s shoes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They also need to be able to empathize with you and understand why you might not be as interested in a frequently sexual relationship. Is it an easy conversation? Not always. But, it can really help to clear the air without making things tense or awkward in the bedroom. You also can end up feeling more intimate and closer to your partner as you both share your vulnerabilities.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Talk About a Fulfilling Sex Life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We live in a society that has stereotyped a successful sex life as something that requires intercourse. Again, that isn\u2019t true. Having fulfilling, meaningful sex is something relative. It could be different for everyone.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex-16x12.jpg 16w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3189 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3189\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Talk-About-Sex-16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You or your partner might find fulfillment in other forms of physical intimacy. Sometimes, they may lead to intercourse. Other times, they could spark other forms of physical fulfillment. Everything from cuddling to showering together can lead to physical intimacy. So, talk about what\u2019s important and satisfying to you, and don\u2019t let yourself fall into the \u201ctraps\u201d that society has set.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Decide What Makes Sex Worth Having<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As with most things in life, quality is more important than quantity. Again, society leads us to believe that we should have sex frequently, and if we don\u2019t, there\u2019s something wrong with us.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image is-style-default\"><figure class=\"alignright size-large\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth-.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth--300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth--16x12.jpg 16w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth-.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3190 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth-.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3190\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth-.jpg 500w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth--300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/Sex-Worth--16x12.jpg 16w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But, that idea can put a lot of pressure on individuals and couples. If you don\u2019t want to have sex multiple times a week, talk about it. Discuss with your partner what meaningful sex looks like to you, and the importance of quality over quantity. Having sex just \u201cbecause\u201d can lead to one disinterest if you have a lower libido. It can also cause resentment of the act and your partner, even if they\u2019re not doing anything wrong.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can probably see a pattern here in dealing with mismatched libidos. Talk to your partner. Get things out in the open. If you\u2019re uncomfortable with those discussions or don\u2019t know where to start, contact me for more information or to set up an appointment. Your sex life doesn\u2019t have to be \u201cruined\u201d because of mismatched libidos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With open discussion and a willingness to foster intimacy, you can have a stronger sex life with your partner than ever before.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos Posted by&nbsp; Soribel Mart\u00ednez, LCSW Sex is a normal part of any healthy relationship. But that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s always easy to talk about. If you\u2019re having some struggles in your sex life, your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3187,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,122,118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples-therapy","category-sex-therapy","category-therapy-for-women"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos - SMPsychotherapy and Counseling Services - Danbury &amp; Hartford, CT &amp; New York, NY<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/how-to-cope-with-mismatched-libidos\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos - SMPsychotherapy and Counseling Services - Danbury &amp; Hartford, CT &amp; New York, NY\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How to Cope with Mismatched Libidos Posted by&nbsp; Soribel Mart\u00ednez, LCSW Sex is a normal part of any healthy relationship. 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