{"id":4758,"date":"2022-11-02T00:44:27","date_gmt":"2022-11-02T00:44:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/?p=4758"},"modified":"2022-11-02T14:51:10","modified_gmt":"2022-11-02T14:51:10","slug":"undoing-toxic-masculinity-helps-mens-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/undoing-toxic-masculinity-helps-mens-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Undoing Toxic Masculinity Helps Men&#8217;s Mental Health"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Undoing Toxic Masculinity Helps Men&#8217;s Mental Health<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-full is-resized\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"upset man sitting in front of cigarrettes\" class=\"wp-image-4764 lazyload\"    sizes=\"(max-width: 390px) 100vw, 390px\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min.jpg\" alt=\"upset man sitting in front of cigarrettes\" class=\"wp-image-4764\" width=\"390\" height=\"260\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1069941395-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 390px) 100vw, 390px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What is a real man? Starting in childhood, many of us learn what it means to be a man or a woman. When they\u2019re young, other boys may ridicule young men for behavior that isn\u2019t \u201cmasculine,\u201d causing them to either go along with stereotypically masculine traits or push back and deal with the fallout.<a href=\"https:\/\/jss.org.au\/what-we-do\/the-mens-project\/the-man-box\/\"> Studies show that most men<\/a> don\u2019t buy into the characteristics referred to as toxic, but the ingrained societal expectations of what it means to be a man still negatively impact them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The term toxic masculinity describes male behaviors that harm society and individuals. Toxic masculinity reinforces the power of men in society but can also cause men to experience harsh treatment and limit how fully they can engage with life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At SMPsychotherapy, we recognize how toxic masculinity affects women, non-binary folks, and men who don\u2019t engage in harmful masculine tendencies. Gender inequality, homophobia, wanton violence, misogyny, and male entitlement harm everyone. However, this blog focuses on how toxic masculinity impacts men and male-identifying people &#8211; their mental health, physical health, and relationships. We also give tips for reducing toxic masculinity&#8217;s impact on your life and explain why a more nuanced view of masculinity improves mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What Is Toxic Masculinity?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The term toxic or harmful masculinity is often misused to describe how men behave. In reality, toxic masculinity refers to dangerous gender roles for men set by society\u2014the gender roles under the toxic masculinity umbrella limit how men interact with and experience the world. Toxic masculinity also harms women and men who don\u2019t follow these rigid gender norms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Toxic Masculinity includes the following behaviors and gender norms<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>physical \u201ctoughness\u201d or aggressive words and behaviors.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>not showing emotions such as love, joy, sadness, disappointment, or excitement (although anger is generally acceptable).<\/li><li>discrimination against people who aren\u2019t heterosexual or gender-conforming.<\/li><li>self-reliance and not asking others for help.<\/li><li>insensitivity to others\u2019 emotions.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Common phrases that demonstrate adherence to unhealthy masculine ideals include<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>\u201cBoys will be boys.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cI\u2019m a man; we\u2019re not good at ______.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cMan up.\u201d or \u201cBe a man.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cStop acting like a girl.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cHe picks on you because he likes you.\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cReal Men Don\u2019t Cry\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"toxic masculinity\" class=\"wp-image-4760 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"500\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min.jpg\" alt=\"toxic masculinity\" class=\"wp-image-4760\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_468050078-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Toxic masculinity, often called traditional masculinity, does not mean that all male traits or behavior are harmful or that all men or male-identifying people are wrong. All people &#8211; male, female, or nonbinary- possess feminine and masculine traits. Learning to embrace everything that makes us who we are results in more individual freedom, improved mental health, and stronger connections. There are plenty of masculine traits and behaviors that are healthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Healthy Masculinity Defined<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-full is-resized\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"sign saying you can be masculine without being toxic\" class=\"wp-image-4763 lazyload\"    sizes=\"(max-width: 423px) 100vw, 423px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min.jpg\" alt=\"sign saying you can be masculine without being toxic\" class=\"wp-image-4763\" width=\"423\" height=\"282\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1289250661-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 423px) 100vw, 423px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If not all masculinity is toxic, how can we define healthy masculinity? Masculinity, just like femininity, is nuanced. There are so many ways to \u201cbe a man\u201d it\u2019s difficult to list specific behaviors, but we\u2019ll give it a shot. Healthy masculine behaviors include<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Embracing <a href=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/recognizing-emotional-disconnect-in-your-relationship-7-telltale-signs\/\">vulnerability in relationships<\/a>.<\/li><li>Expressing a wide range of emotions (sadness, fear, shame, kindness, <a href=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/what-is-grief-therapy-and-how-does-it-work\/\">grief<\/a>, tenderness)<\/li><li>Using healthy relationship skills such as communication, asking for consent, and offering support when your partner needs it.<\/li><li>Embracing the ability men have to nurture others, including children.<\/li><li>Calling out examples of toxic masculinity, such as aggressive or disrespectful behaviors.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Healthy masculinity embraces true gender equality because it recognizes that men can experience the world in ways traditional gender roles assign only to women. Men who embrace healthy masculinity are emotionally connected, develop deep friendships, enjoy art and culture, and nurture their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Toxic Masculinity Affects Men\u2019s Mental Health<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The idea that men must be aggressive, emotionally immature, and entirely self-reliant l<a href=\"https:\/\/digitalcommons.tacoma.uw.edu\/cgi\/viewcontent.cgi?article=1067&amp;context=gender_studies\">eads to mental health problems<\/a> in many men. These problems can affect men who adhere to toxic masculinity and those who discard its principles. Here are a few ways toxic masculinity affects men\u2019s mental health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men May Habitually Repress Emotions<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Toxic masculinity teaches young men they must be stoic, so men don\u2019t develop the ability to experience and express the full spectrum of human emotion. They aren\u2019t allowed to cry, show fear, express tenderness, or talk about sadness. Repressing emotions can have lasting effects, including depression, high blood pressure, chronic pain, and relationship problems. For optimal mental health, people must learn to manage the many emotions of everyday life, from the excitement of a new opportunity to the death of a loved one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men May Not Recognize Signs of Mental Illness<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Men who habitually repress emotions may not <a href=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/self-awareness-tips-get-to-know-yourself-to-improve-your-life\/\">recognize the signs<\/a> of depression, such as fatigue, sadness, hopelessness, and disinterest in things they used to enjoy. For many men, depression presents as anger &#8211; the one emotion acceptable to toxic masculinity teachings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men May Be More Prone to Violence<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Violence and aggression are standard practices in toxic masculine ideals. Boys taught to physically fight for respect or use their size to dominate others are more likely to grow into men who behave violently. This modeling of aggression leads to<a href=\"https:\/\/revisesociology.com\/2021\/06\/13\/gender-and-crime-statistics\/\"> more arrests for violent<\/a> offenses and greater incarceration rates among men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men Are More Likely To Abuse Alcohol and Drugs<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nida.nih.gov\/publications\/research-reports\/substance-use-in-women\/sex-gender-differences-in-substance-use\">Men are more likely<\/a> than women to abuse alcohol and drugs. Substance use disorder often stems from unprocessed trauma, repressed emotion, or the inability to form close relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men Are Less Likely To Ask For Help<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Toxic masculinity teaches relentless self-reliance, making it difficult for many men to ask for help with anything from fixing a bathtub drain to processing the end of a relationship. Men who grow up learning that being male means they are supposed to be mentally and physically tough may see seeking help for mental illness as a sign of weakness. Many men even avoid medical appointments when they have a real problem because they feel uncomfortable seeking assistance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Men Have Higher Rates Of Suicide<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps the most compelling reason to address toxic masculinity\u2019s effect on men is that men commit suicide almost four times as often as women. When men repress emotions, miss the signs of mental illness, abuse drugs and alcohol, and refuse to seek help, it can lead to suicidal ideation. Embracing a more nuanced view of masculine ideals can save lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min-300x146.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min-18x9.jpg 18w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\"   data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"dark image of a manly man\" class=\"wp-image-4762 lazyload\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"364\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min.jpg\" alt=\"dark image of a manly man\" class=\"wp-image-4762\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min-300x146.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1029784840-min-18x9.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tips To Embrace Healthy Masculinity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Men deserve better than the limited role toxic masculinity defines for them. Toxic masculinity says that to be a man, one must fit into a tiny box of heteronormative male behaviors that don\u2019t allow one to fully experience the range of human emotions and connection. Men are and can be attentive parents, loving partners, empathetic friends, and manly men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For those of you raising men, living with men, or trying to make it through life as a man, here are some tips to undo the socialization that leads to toxic masculinity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Address disrespect and aggression by calling people out when you see it.<\/li><li>Provide an empathetic space for men and boys to demonstrate and talk about a wide range of emotions<\/li><li>Give positive reinforcement when boys and men show empathy, compassion, and caring behavior toward themselves and others.<\/li><li>Allow a nonjudgmental space for men to share their experiences.<\/li><li>Check in with men you know or encourage them to ask for help when struggling.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Therapy Can Help Men Embrace Healthy Masculinity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-full is-resized\"><img data-srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP\/\/\/yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7\" alt=\"man holding up a moustache prop\" class=\"wp-image-4761 lazyload\"    sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min.jpg\" alt=\"man holding up a moustache prop\" class=\"wp-image-4761\" width=\"375\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min.jpg 750w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/shutterstock_1158337468-min-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" \/><\/noscript><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Going against culturally ingrained gender roles is difficult for anyone, and it\u2019s common to struggle with your mental health when it feels like you\u2019re different from everyone else. As conversations about masculinity become more inclusive, many men feel lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Therapy can help whether you\u2019ve lived inside the tiny box created by toxic masculinity and are looking for help climbing out or you\u2019ve rejected harmful masculine ideals and suffered as a result. You deserve a life that allows for rich experiences, deep emotional connections, and nurturing relationships. At SMPsychotherapy, our therapists bring a wealth of experience working with people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. They understand men&#8217;s unique difficulties and are committed to helping clients find a form of masculinity that supports the life they want without causing harm. <a href=\"https:\/\/psychotherapyandcounselingservices.com\/en\/contact\/\">Reach out to our office today<\/a>. We&#8217;ll discuss your therapy needs and match you with the best therapist for you. You don\u2019t have to struggle with mental health issues or health problems exacerbated by society\u2019s unrealistic expectations for men.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Undoing Toxic Masculinity Helps Men&#8217;s Mental Health What is a real man? Starting in childhood, many of us learn what it means to be a man or a woman. When they\u2019re young, other boys may ridicule young men for behavior [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4761,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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