Posted by Soribel Martínez, LCSW
Relationships are a lot of work. They require regular effort and patience. But they can be incredibly rewarding and exciting.
And what is something that matters a lot in relationships? Intimacy!
Intimacy is not always about the sensual or physical aspects of a relationship. Intimacy also means a sense of fully knowing your partner, and vice versa. It’s an emotional connection and a sense of comfort and trust with that person.
Of course, sometimes creating connection is easier said than done. So how can women actively create a better connection with partners through intimacy?
1. Take Your Time in Discovering Your Partner
Intimacy is the process of discovering a person emotionally, too. If you’re not being attentive to the person you’re sharing your life with, your connections will decline. Relationships require attentive care and effort from both parties.
Having open and intimate conversations about each other, life in general, your dreams, ambitions, and more is what keeps a spark alive. Those who are hard to read or keep themselves closed off will have a harder time maintaining connections with those around them. Take your time in discovering each other.
2. Continually Try New Things
Routines can get mundane, and it can begin to feel that way when you’re living the same day repeatedly. Getting out of your comfort zone every once in a while is a great way to restore and maintain a connection with someone.
Go to a new restaurant for date night. Cross off a bucket-list activity together. Take a spontaneous trip. Do something that shakes up the routine again. Be productive in your conversations about the future; whether it’s in two days or two years.
3. But Also Relish the Routine
Your routine, although sometimes mundane, is also the life you created with your person. When close to someone, there’s a predictability that comes up. We can start to easily read each other and expect the same things when together.
This is good! Routines are a small way that partners become so connected with one another. It’s a habit that becomes a necessity to life. Relish your routines with one another. You’ll constantly find yourself feeling lucky and happy—that’s your connection.
4. Cherish the Small Touch
Sex may be a great way to form connection and intimacy, but the smaller physical aspects of the relationship are just as important.
Hand holding, forehead kisses, small kisses, hugs, and snuggles are a big part of the connections we form. Hold tightly onto those feelings. It’s a small way to express how one feels about you, and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.
This is a big part of where your intimacy comes from. It’s a beautiful part of those relationships.
5. Ensure a Safe Space
You two are a team. It’s important to remind each other how you feel and that your relationship is a safe place. Ensure that it’s okay to be open, honest, and your own individual with one another.
The safety of a relationship is an amazing feeling. When you’ve created a safe place to be a part of, there will be a continual attraction to each other. Being able to create that deeper level of connection leads to a deeper level of intimacy. Ensure safety and watch each other flourish in that space.
These are small gestures, but they go a long way to creating connection and intimacy. Being able to achieve these with your partner will help keep your relationship happy and healthy.
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Soribel Martinez, LCSW, CEO of SMPsychotherapy